The Gift
by Orefish
Summary: TsuxHis Alternate Universe Tsuzuki, a newly hired employee of a mental institution, meets a sad individual in need of much more than psychiatric treatment. Will not be finished, sorry.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

I would like to inform you that this version of the story isn'tthe same as the one that may have been readhere originaly.I wrote the first version of this story when I was a sophomore in high school and I don't believe I gave it justice so here for you're pleasure is the new re-written version of The Gift.

The Gift

By: Fish

Prologue

"Every time…" He thought with less surprise this time. The feel of the stranger's thin, cold, and uncaring lips against his skin was something he could always predict, even for someone as unpredictable as a stranger. Tongue and teeth brushed up against the pulse in his neck as hands greedily made their way across his chest. He always wondered why no one ever questioned him when he failed to make any pleasurable noises in these situations. An orgasm is an easy thing to achieve however, one that _truly_ satisfies is hard to come by. This stranger could push all the right buttons, say all the right things, and comb his hair just right but he couldn't possess enough love to fill even a thimble.

The stranger writhed and twitched and slid over his naked body and all he could do, all he _wanted _to do, was stare off into the distance and wait till it ended just as he did the night before, the night before that, and the night before that. He decided - what seemed like ages ago - it was all or none for him. Allowing someone else's love to overwhelm him or have no love at all was the way this game was played. "The gift", as some might call it, willed it so.

He made a choice when he started searching: he'd throw himself at anyone who wanted to take him home. To him, all his shame and pride his being could muster were worth the sacrifice. He hoped that by doing so he would beat the odds and one day find someone to cancel out the gift and allow his heart to beat again.

Suddenly the moment stopped, the stranger ascended above him. Tucked in and zipped up, green paper was dropped to the floor next to his bare body. Now suddenly alone, he swatted the money aside to get to his shirt which had been carefully folded and placed on the ground. He got dressed and walked out leaving his earnings on the floor.

"Ah, rain again…" He said as he walked off into that darkening alleyway.


	2. Chapter 2: The Fisherman

Chapter 1: The Fisherman

The office appeared to be quite nice, it had large windows overlooking a lovely garden full of flowers and grass so green there was no way it could be real. The walls had a cream colored paint on the top and dark wooden paneling below giving it a very rustic but refined feel to the room, the over glossed taxidermy fish lining the room certainly proved that.

"So, Mr. Tsuzuki, I understand that you're looking for a job with us." The old man said as he bent forward in his chair inquisitively scratching at his five o'clock shadow. A tall man with shaggy brown hair sat across from him, his legs pleasantly crossed with his hands in his lap. "That's correct", he said. His voice sounded mature but it had a certain hint to it that made it feel a little goofy.

"Good, good…" The old man said calmly, "What type of job were you looking for?" The hand that was scratching his beard moved up to his head and became occupied with combing back his white hair.

"Well, my skills don't excel much more than cleaning and cooking so I was thinking maybe I could do laundry or work in the cafeteria." Tsuzuki said as he smoothed out his cheap black suit.

The old man's eye brows furrowed up making the wrinkles on his forehead morph into the shape of an "M", "I see…Well, we do have a few openings for orderlies here. I think we could get you set up today if you don't mind that the position isn't what you were looking for. If you don't think you can take it we can always call you when we have an opening."

"Oh!" Tsuzuki said as he almost bolted out of his chair, "N-No, I'm fine with it! I'll take whatever position you have!"

"Wonderful! I just need you to sign a couple things." The man pulled a white sheet riddled with fine print and passed it over to Tsuzuki.

"What's this for?"

The man sighed, "Mr. Tsuzuki, you'll have to understand what type of people we have here. All of our patients are here because they are not mentally well. We have sociopaths, schizophrenics - all sorts of people here. Many of them are harmless really, but some are very dangerous. You _do_ have the possibility of getting injured by one of our patients, and since we are such a small organization here we simply cannot afford take any responsibility for such things. Now of coarse we won't send you to aid patients like that on your own, you'll have others there for assistance. So there's really no need worry." Tsuzuki just sat for a moment staring at the form.

"I hope that this doesn't dissuade you from the job..."

It seemed like the old man was really trying to reel Tsuzuki into something he should be more careful about. Tsuzuki gazed at the patterns of black print for a moment, he needed the money more than ever now, food and housing were draining his budget dry but not as much as his medication was, prices on medicine were becoming ridiculous. Money was absolutely crucial."I'll do it." He declared as he signed his name on the dotted line.

"Welcome to West Wind mental institution, Mr. Tsuzuki. Oh by the way, my name is Kanoe." He said as he enthusiastically shook the other man's hand.


	3. Chapter 3: The Emerald Eyes of West Wind

Chapter 2: The Emerald Eyes of West Wind

Commotion came from down the sterile white hallways where Tsuzuki pushed his laundry cart, the residents there were crowded around in a circle and shouts could be heard. He couldn't say what they were doing exactly and he would have ignored it if he hadn't heard some of the kids chanting 'Fight' over and over. Tsuzuki abandoned his cart and ran to the masses of patients and pushed his way to the center of the ring. A white haired boy sat screaming violently over another youth while strangling and beating him with his hands.

"You fuck'n like that, punk? You fuck'n like that?" The boy screamed as his grip tightened on his victim's throat.

Tzusuki got between the two and pried the white haired patient's hands away from the other boy's neck. The boy stared in shock at Tsuzuki's interference and pushed the violet eyed man away. He stood still, the picture of rage still framed on his face. Silence had now made its entrance and multiple pairs of eyes just stared at the two clashing forces. Though a little shaken, Tsuzuki bent down to help the other kid up, gently grabbing his arm and pulling him to his feet.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." The boy said while looking at the ground.

"What's you're name, kid?"

"Hisoka." He said; still not making eye contact with his savior.

The white haired boy walked up to the two, "So what now? You think you're safe just because someone broke it up? Well, I can guarantee you; next time I'll take you somewhere where no one can hear you scream and I'll beat you until blood pours out your eyes!"

"Go to hell, Saki." Hisoka mumbled glaring angrily at the other boy.

"What was that? You wanna' say that again!" Tsuzuki moved so his back was guarding Hisoka. "I'll fuck'n break your god damn neck!" Saki began to grab at Hisoka again but he was soon peeled off by three other orderlies who had just noticed the uproar. Saki protested as the three dragged him back down the hallway, obscenities and threats flew from his mouth but nothing swayed the three as they disappeared into one of the many rooms.

"Are you going to be alright or do you need to see a doctor?" Tsuzuki asked as he tried to get a better look at the Hisoka's face.

"I'm just going to go back to my room and sleep." Hisoka said as he wiped some blood away from his lip and pulled the arms of his long sleeve shirt down over his wrists.

"I'll walk with you then. I think I have some of your linen anyways."

"Whatever." He mumbled.

The walk to his room was pure silence, Tsuzuki would try and spark a conversation but Hisoka would just nod or mumble, still refusing to look at the taller man. Tsuzuki couldn't figure out why Hisoka was there, he thought maybe he was depressed but he knew that depression could easily be cured with a pill so it couldn't have been that. Then he wondered if maybe he had another more rare disease like split personality, one identity quite and calm, and the other violent. It made sense to him seeing as there could have been no way that the innocent soul next to him initiated that fight.

Hisoka opened the door to his room to reveal that there was more to this person than what met the eye. Tsuzuki had only been in just a few of the rooms at the hospital but he had seen enough to know that none of them were this elaborate. He overlooked the room in awe of the color and beauty contrasting the rest of the hospital. Pictures were placed against royal blue walls with white molding on the ceiling and floor, plants hung by the windows which were draped with curtains made of a soft white translucent material. He pushed the cart into the room and pulled some bed sheets from it; he moved to the bed and began to spread the sheets out.

"I'll do it." Hisoka said as he took over the chore.

"Are you sure?"

"I have to be waited on hand and foot here all the time; I'd like to do something for myself for once."

"If you insist..." Tsuzuki said as he walked around the room to inspect the walls. The pictures all seemed to be from the same artist and a very good artist at that; they were elegantly drawn and painted with watercolors. There were scenes of oceans, springs, forests, and meadows.

"You must really like this artist to have so many of their paintings on your walls." Tsuzuki commented as he looked closer at the details.

"I painted them." Hisoka said as he made the bed.

"What! You did _these_! That's amazing!" Tsuzuki said in shock. The boy must have been a prodigy, he had to be only in his mid to late teens yet he was doing work that people in their forties were trying to do.

"Not really." He mumbled as he started to fold up some clean laundry that was placed on a chair by his bed.

Tsuzuki pulled away from the painting looking a little upset. "Why do you say that? I don't really know much about art or anything but I can tell when something is beautiful, and that's all that matters when it comes to art, right?"

"Well...It's not only that. Art has many purposes, but these days art is used to make a statement to people, to make them think and also express these statements through beauty."

"And isn't that what you did?"

Hisoka stopped folding for a moment and fixed his vision on the wall, "No, the statement and the feelings to produce these pictures were not my own."

"So, what, you copied them or something?" Tsuzuki asked puzzled.

"Not really…" He continued to fold the green shirt. Silence followed after that. Feeling a little awkward Tsuzuki looked at his watch and said, "Well… I guess I'll let you get some sleep. I'll stop by later with dinner."

"Ok."

Tsuzuki started to exit the room when Hisoka spoke up behind him. "Um…"

"Yes?" He turned and looked at the boy, it was the first time they spoke to each other face to face and it was then that he was struck in awe by the radiant emerald eyes that Hisoka possessed.

"What's your name?"

Tsuzuki was silent for a moment drenching his eyes in the green glow of Hisoka's. He tried to respond but all that managed to come out was a relaxed "Ah…" noise. Noticing a strange look forming on the boy's face he snapped out of it and managed a response, "Oh! You can call me Tsuzuki". He said with a warm smile on his face.

"Ok then. Thank you, Tsuzuki."

"You're quite welcome." He said as he left the boy to himself.

He closed the door quietly and was a little startled to see Konoe waiting outside the door for him, looking worried. "I heard there was a fight, is he going to be alright?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah he said he was fine and that he just needed some sleep."

"Oh, that's good I guess. I should probably have a nurse check up on him though…" The old man said in thought while once again scratching his unshaven chin. Tsuzuki was beginning to wonder if the old man even shaved.

Feeling bold Tsuzuki stepped forward, "Why is he here?" he asked.

"What?" Kanoe looked lost.

"Hisoka. Why is he here? He seems like a normal person to me."

"He's a bit of an unusual case...he was admitted four months ago. When we analyzed him he said that he could read peoples' minds and absorb their feelings. He made it sound like justification for sleeping around with strangers. It's sad but his parents paid a hefty sum for him to stay here as long as he could. It sounds to me like they just didn't want to deal with him anymore; they'd rather pay thousands of dollars a month to keep him in a place like this rather than spend time with him and get him some better help."

"That's terrible."

Konoe placed a hand on his forehead and looked at his feet, "Yeah…He ran away recently. He was gone for a week, we weren't sure how he escaped but when we found him he was walking around in the rain half naked mumbling and delirious from not eating…poor child…"

Tsuzuki just stood wordlessly.

"Well," He said with a sigh, "I have a meeting with the new therapist. I suppose I'll see you later." The old man walked off leaving Tsuzuki to think.

To Tsuzuki, aside from the mind reading story it sounded like Hisoka was just a case of neglect. Maybe he made up that story about mind reading to gain the attention his parents never gave him. But was that really enough to be sent to a mental institution? Tsuzuki pushed his cart down the hallway all the while still thinking about the emerald eyed resident.


	4. Chapter 4: Sympathy

Chapter 3: Sympathy

"Tsuzuki, babe, could you take these trays to the kids in wing A?" the cafeteria lady asked, she was a nice lady but she always referred to him as "hun" or "babe" and it sort of made him sick.

"Sure." He grimaced as he grabbed hold of the cart of trays.

He looked at the list of rooms in wing A and cringed at the first name: Saki. The boy had been sent to an isolation room considering the events that occurred earlier that day. Lucky for Tsuzuki the boy wouldn't be as threatening as he was earlier. He pushed his cart down the hall way and stopped at Saki's door. There was a small window with little wires in it that crisscrossed he wondered if it kept the glass from shattering if something, or _someone _was to hit it. He knocked on the door to receive no answer, he was about to knock again when he heard a lazy voice emerge from the white room.

"I heard you the first time…" The boy emerged from the floor he walked up to the window and gave a strange smile. , "Oh, it's _you_…" he said as he leaned his arm up against the glass and glared at the man all the while a smile spread across his face.

"I have food for you." Tsuzuki said as he placed a tray through a slit in the door that went under the window. Saki took the tray and set it down on the floor and went back to his previous position. "You know," He said, "It's really nice that they finally hired a new orderly. The other ones are just so rude to me…they treat me like an animal…do you know how that feels?"

"No, I'm sorry but I don't." Tsuzuki was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Ah…well…I suppose that's _normal_, normal for a normal person…normal, normal, normal…" Saki repeated lazily, it appeared that they had put him on some sort of drug. Tsuzuki just arched an eyebrow at the boy not quite sure what he was getting at but then again, judging by where he was currently and what they had given him, he couldn't quite say that what the blond was blabbering on about was meant to make any sense anyways.

"I'd normally be angry that the fight was broken up but I'm not…the doctors gave me a sedative and I became drowsy…but you know…it was very peaceful. Very peaceful…"

"That's good, maybe it'll help you get better."

"The last thing I saw was you…the image of you is burned inside my skull now." Saki's pale hand was slowly slipping through the slit in the door. Tsuzuki stood completely baffled by his words and oblivious to the hand wandering dangerously close.

"_What is he talking about?" _Tsuzuki thought.

"Tsuzuki, you're quite an attractive man…" Saki whispered as his thin fingers slipped behind the waste of Tsuzuki's pants, slightly rubbing against the skin of his belly. _"Woa now, kid!" _Tsuzuki's mind screamed as he suddenly became aware of what was happening. He flew back to the other side of the wall a bit panicked, his face twisted in confusion.

Saki gave a little 'humph' of disgust and looked lazily up at the shocked man.

"I guess it _is_ a little too bold to start off giving you a hand job," He said indolently, his hand now dangling out of the side of the opening. "Or maybe you don't swing that way?"

"Listen kid," Tsuzuki said, still too flustered to sound confident, "I'm flattered, but no."

"Fine then, but I must let you know, I understand you _now_, but my judgment may be a skew later. As you may already know, I'm pretty unstable at times. Anyways, I'll see you later." He gave a slight laugh and moved downward, disappearing into his room.

"Oh!" He added before Tsuzuki continued on his way, "Give my regards to my _darling_ Hisoka…"

Tsuzuki looked down at his list to see Hisoka's name occupy the last spot. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy. He himself had had a rather peaceful childhood, not the greatest, but nice enough to leave him with good memories. It made him sad to think that there were people out there unable to experience that and end up living in the world without _real_ love. He gently brought his hand up to the door and knocked. The request was followed by the door opening and green eyes peering through the crack. "Hey, I brought your dinner." He said as cheerfully as he could.

"Oh, thanks." Hisoka murmured as he took a tray offered to him, he seemed a little more timid than earlier.

"And, uh…" Tsuzuki paused as he thought of what to say but the emerald eyes were distracting him.

"What?"

"Oh, uh, here are your pills too." He said as he handed the blonde a small paper cup filled with colorful sedatives and the like. He realized that those were the pills that kept the boy stable; he wondered if he was anything like Saki when he didn't take them.

"_I have to admit it, I am curious about this kid. What is he really like?" _Tsuzuki pondered a bit.

Hisoka stared at the cup for a moment and turned away, "Can you come in for a second?"

"I guess I can for a little while." He said a little unsure of himself as he entered the room, he was startled by the sound of Hisoka shutting the door behind him.

"Saki says hello." Tsuzuki said a little jokingly Hisoka just gave a bitter snort.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked in a small voice hoping he wouldn't set Hisoka off.

"Konoe is an old fart; don't listen to anything he says."

"What?" Pure shock was plastered on the taller man's face, he wasn't quite sure if the boy was serious.

"I heard what he was telling you earlier. I'm not crazy and I don't want attention."

"Um…" He said a little shakily. "I believe you…"

"No you don't. No _normal_ person would believe it when they hear someone claim to have 'special powers'. I guess you have good reason because most of the people labeling themselves as 'psychic' are lunatics. But for some people it's true…and it kills us to keep it inside." A hint of sadness could be detected in his voice.

Tsuzuki just backed up to the door speechless yet still listening to the boy.

"_I shouldn't be in here, this kid is strange…"_ Tsuzuki thought as the boy abruptly turned to him as if he heard every word.

"Fine…don't believe me…I'm sorry for making you _uncomfortable_ because I'm too _strange_."

"Ah I-" Tsuzuki stammered in shock.

Hisoka turned his piercing green eyes away from Tsuzuki and he gazed out the window at the gardens that were tinted blue by the coming night. "I was hoping that I could get through to you before anyone spoke to you about me. But I guess I'm already labeled a freak, right?"

Tsuzuki took a breath, "...but why _me? _Why does it matter what I think?"

"Because I sensed you had actual concern for me…I thought maybe we could become friends. I don't really have any company here if you haven't noticed."

"You can sense my concern? I thought you could just read minds?"

"Amongst other things, yes... I can only read minds if I try, but I'm mainly an Empath."

"An empath?" Tsuzuki asked with a little bit of confusion.

"People's emotions transfer to me when I make physical contact." He said as he walked over to Tsuzuki. He looked him in the eyes, Hisoka never noticed how strange Tsuzuki's eyes were before. He had never seen eyes like his before they were a shade of blue violet that he had never seen anything possess before. He studied Tsuzuki's face, even if he wasn't an empath he could tell Tsuzuki was scared and nervous, he was shaking. Hisoka brought a soft hand up to his cheek and watched Tsuzuki's purple eyes close gently.

"Confusion, doubt, nervousness, sympathy." Hisoka listed, though he was a little shocked at the last one.

Tsuzuki felt himself exhale. He was surprised that he had actually stopped breathing gave a breathy uncomfortable chuckle, "Seems you got most of them..."

"You believe me then?" Hisoka asked with an inquisitive look on his face.

"Yes," Tsuzuki said with certainty, "I believe you now."

"Do you fear me?"

Tsuzuki took another deep breath and sat down on Hisoka's bed, he watched himself fiddle with his hands, it was almost as if his body was moving on its own. "Honestly Hisoka, I can say I _am_ scared. But you have to understand as a human being-" He noticed the boy's expression was turning from inquisitive to great sadness. The man grabbed hold of Hisoka's soft hand and watched as he absorbed all the emotion he had. Confusion, doubt, and nervousness flew around his mind like fireflies in a jar but suddenly only one emotion stayed with him and grew for each second Tsuzuki held his hand. Sympathy. Sympathy, sympathy, sympathy!

"I fear what I don't understand," Tsuzuki said quietly as he watched Hisoka struggle around his emotions, "but I _do_ want to learn to understand."


	5. Chapter 5: Snow

Chapter 4: Snow

It had been two months since Tsuzuki began working at West Wind and the snow was beginning to fall. Late December had expressed its presence with the sudden explosion of red and green signs and cards with silver glitter. Winter was starting its shift. The residents at the institute were throwing a Christmas party as they usually did every year. Some of the residents didn't really care if it was Christmas or the end of the world, yet Konoe being a good hearted man felt it was the least he could do.

Tsuzuki could see the lights from the Christmas tree from outside the hospital. A faint glowing aura around it seemed to appear because of the fog and ice accumulating on the windows. With a package in hand he walked carefully up the icy stone steps to the doorway. The building was warm compared to the stinging cold outside, Tsuzuki smiled as he gave the Christmas decorations the recognition they weren't getting. People, mostly faculty, crowded the recreation room and were socializing to familiar Christmas songs.

"Tsuzuki, you came to visit!" Sherry, one of his coworkers beamed. "I would have thought you would take advantage of your vacation time and visit family or something…"

"Oh no, not this year however, I _am_ planning to meet a friend." He said in his typical charming way, "Is Hisoka around?"

She smiled a bit, "Oh good, I was afraid that no one would visit him. Poor thing's been in his room all day. Anyways, don't forget to take some of these cookies home with you tonight, we have a _ton_."

"Oh don't worry, I will." He said with a wink which caused the small woman to giggle.

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki called as he knocked on the door. The last couple of months Tsuzuki found that he had great company with Hisoka and tried to visit with him whenever he could. No matter how far he was from him those green orbs would pull him back to that beautiful room with its lush green plants. Often he would lose track of time daydreaming about their conversations and the ones they might have.

"Tsuzuki, what are you doing here?" Hisoka said with surprise as he saw his smiling friend across from him.

"I just felt like I should stop by to wish you happy holidays." He said as he pulled the gift covered it shiny doves and bells from his jacket.

"Oh…" Hisoka gave a sad sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"I didn't get you anything…" He said looking down, "I can't take this its-"

"Don't worry about it!" Tsuzuki said with an assuring tone. "I _wanted_ to get something for you, the best gift for me is for you to accept it."

Hisoka took the gift from him and looked down at it, "Here, come in." he said as he opened the door wider for his friend to enter. Tsuzuki took a seat on Hisoka's bed by the window and just stared eagerly at Hisoka who was just staring at the package.

"Open it." He lightly commanded.

Hisoka ripped away the shiny paper to reveal a wooden rectangular case. He undid the little latches on the side to reveal a set of watercolors and some brushes.

"Oh…thank you…" Hisoka said as he tried to hide his smile from the older man but Tsuzuki caught it and smiled back.

"I figured you might be running out of paints. I want you to paint something nice…Like maybe you could paint that one picture you just recently did in pen."

"Ok." Hisoka agreed as he went over to his desk to pull out the said picture. It wasn't unusual for him to start drawing when Tsuzuki was there. Tsuzuki said that he enjoyed being around him even if they didn't talk, so some days he would just sit on Hisoka's bed and watch him draw.

"Tsuzuki…" Hisoka crumpled the paper a little in his hand and looked up so his bangs got out of his face.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you bother coming to see me?"

"Why?" He repeated questioningly "Because I like you."

"No I mean how come you don't see your family. _Its Christmas Eve_ don't you have more important people to see?"

"No, my family isn't around anymore, really. My older sister kinda' disowned us some odd years ago and moved away somewhere. My father left not too long after and my mother died two summers ago. But don't get the wrong idea its not like your not import-"

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked…" Hisoka murmured just enough that he could be heard.

"No it's ok; it's not as bad as it sounds. I'm probably just a little melancholy from the weather you know…it's always so dark and all…" His sentence drifted off a little as he stared out the window next to him. Hisoka looked to his friend, he could see his expression through his reflection in the window. It was a sad one. He got up and sat next to him on the bed Tsuzuki just looked at him a little puzzled. "You know," The boy said as he stared at the floor "It may always be dark out but not completely dark. The snow will always be white…" He looked over to the violet eyed man to see him smiling back.

"That's very true…" Tsuzuki said with a chuckle a little amazed at how wise his friend was for his age, "So, how come you're not out socializing with the rest?"

"I don't really do well in big crowds."

"How come?" Tsusuki tilted his head to the side.

"Too many strong emotions, I don't have to touch people to feel _strong _emotions so when in a room with a lot of them it's a little overwhelming."

"Oh. I guess that wouldn't be too pleasant."

"Yeah…"

"Well," Tsuzuki said as he felt a lull in the conversation, "I should get going..." The two stood up from the bed and paused for a moment expecting something to happen but both not quite sure of what it was. There had been more and more of these moments lately it seemed and it always made Hisoka feel odd. "Ok…" Hisoka said trying to break the silence "Thank you for visiting me, I really appreciate it."

"No problem at all." Tsuzuki gave a smile.

"Oh and could you do me a favor?" Hisoka asked as he placed his new watercolor set on his desk next to his sketch pad.

"Sure."

"If you see Mizuki out there tell him that we'll meet on Wednesday at eight."

Tsuzuki stopped for a moment not quite sure whether he should ask what was going to go on at eight but decided it was none of his business but there was something unsettling about Hisoka doing _anything _with that man. Mizuki was smart but arrogant and he was always hitting on the female workers. He didn't care what people thought of him, it was safe to say that Tsuzuki thought he was a scumbag.

"Uh…Yeah, I saw him out there on my way in… I'll be sure to tell him." He lingered in the doorway a little as if to say something but erased the thought, "Well I'll see ya."


	6. Chapter 6

1.14.04 (and damn its cold, -15)

Mel-chan-of-doom: Thank you!

Konnie-chan: Ah, you are correct I didn't read that over it is shone *shuffles off to fix it* oh and no Tsuzuki isn't dead he's alive and kick'n. Tsuzuki: "YEHAW!"

Yuki-Kurai: Hey I updated! YAY!

Apocaliptioblivion: *hugs back* Yup that's me getting cyber physical with the reviewers. Does that make me a cyber slut? 

YukaYuka: Sorry to kill your "mystery finger wiggles" but Tsuzuki is alive. I thought that by making him immortal then he would have too much power. I mean he _is_ an orderly and if he was an _immortal _orderly then he could just fly away with Hisoka using his immortal orderly powers and there would be no plot. However, maybe in the end I might have him take over New York City . Lol. 

Chapter 6:

Hisoka sat at his desk that morning scribbling mindlessly on his sketch pad and staring out the window. Never in his life had anyone cried over him and last night was an event that flipped his world upside down. Thoughts of Tsuzuki's words were set on repeat in his mind and as a result kept him from thinking of anything else.

Small chit chat outside his room pushed his thoughts aside briefly, causing him to spin around in hopes to see his friend peeking into his room in need of conversation. But the door remained shut and there were no curious purple eyes peeking in at him. He sighed and turned back around and glanced at the watercolors he had received not but a week ago.

_ "I don't deserve these, Tsuzuki..."_ The boy thought to himself as he gently pushed the box away in a drawer. He suddenly bolted from his chair as a knock at the door sounded from across his room.

"Tsuzu-"

"Good morning!" Sherry said as she appeared behind the door. "How ya doin' kiddo?"

"Uh. I'm okay. Where's Tsuzuki?" The boy asked, a little confused as to why the woman was taking place of his friend.

"Oh, Tsuzuki called in sick today. He should be back tomorrow." She said simply as she made some room on his desk to set the tray. She then handed him some water and pills, with out thought he threw his head back and swallowed them.

"Ah, good kid." She commented with a smile. "Well, see you at lunch" She said as she exited. Hisoka shut the door behind her and flopped down on his bed with a sigh. He never realized how boring his life was with out his friend near by, now that he thought of it, those last few months were the happiest he had had in a long time.

He wanted, no, he _needed_ to see Tsuzuki. The guilt he felt made a home in the pit of his stomach and clawed at his insides telling him that the only one who could fix his situation was Tsuzuki. He needed to tell him that he was sorry before the pain got worse. But the problem was; would he be forgiven?

He stared at the ceiling thinking that maybe if he slept the day would go faster but found that his anticipation would only make time infinitely longer so he decided that maybe he could entertain himself by hiding out in an empty recreation room to draw.

The hallway was quiet as he walked; his sketch book in hand. Most of the patients were on the other side of the building doing some sort of arts and crafts. Hisoka never attended those sorts of activities seeing as he wasn't really a normal resident there. The staff normally let him do what he wanted because of the money his parents fed the financially struggling institute.

"Hmm…So Tsuzuki isn't here today. Are you sad?" A voice came from behind him.

"Saki…?" Hisoka yelped in surprise as the crazy boy slammed him against the wall. 

"You know…It's your fault he didn't come today…He went home after he left your room yesterday, he looked sad…I saw it…you made him cry didn't you?"

"He'll be back tomorrow, now let me go." Hisoka demanded as he tried to struggle free from the boy's grasp.

"You made him cry and now I have even more reason to want to kill you." A dangerous hatred from Saki soaked into his skin and swam around in his body like a serpent.

"What the hell is your problem?!" Hisoka screamed, hoping someone would hear and save him from the lunatic. He planted his fist into the other boy's gut causing him to exhale sharply but he still did not loosen his grip on the blonde.

"My problem? I have a problem with the way you take Tsuzuki for granted! You don't deserve to be near him! These last few months I have seen him walk past my room and every day he looks more and more beautiful yet he doesn't talk to me! Instead he just visits you! _You_! And all you do is make him sad! " He said as he threw Hisoka too the ground sliding him the distance down the hall he previously intended to walk.

"Tsuzuki is mine!" Saki screamed as he ran after Hisoka and on his way he spied a storage closet conveniently close to where the blonde lay. Hisoka noted Saki's observation and quickly got to his feet to run but the taller boy grabbed him from the back, one hand clamped over his mouth and the other holding his hands behind him, and dragged him into the dark closet.

Saki threw the other boy in and closed the door behind him guarding it with his body. He walked up to Hisoka who gave a kick to his legs but the crazy boy recovered quickly and slammed the blonde into the ground. He then walked to a pile of haphazardly placed medical supplies and found a broken I.V. stand. Hisoka's eyes widened in terror as he saw the boy swing the metal rod at his side like a baseball bat, he felt the ribs in his side crack at the repeated swings to his side.

Holding his side, Hisoka tried to get up and open the door but with every attempt Saki would only beat him to the ground. At one point he had hit the boy's arm and dislocated it sending a bloody scream from his throat. The white haired boy smiled as he dropped the metal rod, he walked back over to the pile of garbage and found a glass jar which he abruptly smashed to pieces. He picked up a shard of glass and stabbed it into the boy's stomach causing another onslaught of guttural noises.

He then got up close to Hisoka's face and murmured "Now, I'm gonna' end this." as he softly tickled the skin of Hisoka's neck with the tip of the shard. He stared at the blonde for a moment, an evil grin planted on his face, and he unexpectedly pressed his lips up against the boy's to the point of bruising him. He pulled back and gave a sick laugh.

"I really _am _going to miss you." He said with feigned remorse, he then pressed the glass hard up against the soft flesh of Hisoka's neck causing a trickle of blood to ooze from the cut. Suddenly light spilled into the room and orderlies flooded in grabbing the two boys and recovering them from the storage closet.

Hisoka was placed gently out in the hallway and Sherry appeared in front of his eyes which were now seeing vertigo. He could hear the faint sounds of "Hisoka? Are you alright? Can you hear me? Hisoka!" but soon it faded and his vision soon followed suit.

T.B.C. R&R 


	7. Chapter 7

1.16.04 (Its still pretty damn cold here -25!)

Wow, my god. Thank you everyone for the reviews! I haven't had that many reviews for a single chapter _ever. _It maybe a small number (11) but believe me I'm crapping my pants over it...Wow, how elegant with words I am today. Anyways. On with the fic. R&R

Chapter 7:

Tsuzuki rushed through the automatic doors of the hospital. Sherry sat in one of the chairs in the lobby, her eyes red from crying. When she called him she didn't inform him of what happened, the only thing he could hear between her sobs was that Hisoka had been put into the hospital.

"Sherry, what happened?" He asked as he approached the woman, she just stood up and hugged him. He suddenly felt a small panic in his chest and pushed her away to look at her face. "He's not…" He said holding his breath.

She laughed sadly, "No."

Tsuzuki gave a heavy sigh of relief, "Well, what happened?"

"He got pretty badly beaten earlier today…" She began as she walked up to one of the elevators, "Here, let's go see him."

"One dislocated shoulder, four cracked ribs, stab wound on his belly, multiple cuts and some pretty severe bruising…" Sherry listed as they both sat beside the sleeping boy's bed. His face was black and blue in addition to the bandages he sported on his arms. Tsuzuki assumed that there were more bandages underneath the hospital gown but didn't care to see, the tip of the iceberg was enough to send him screaming into the night.

"Did…Did Saki do this?" Tsuzuki asked as he watched his friend's steady breaths.

"Yeah. He's being omitted into a better facility."

He gave a bitter laugh "Shit…They should have done that earlier…"

"They were planning to but they didn't think that his case was that bad…I'm just sorry that they didn't decide to do it sooner…Poor kid…"

Tsuzuki didn't say anything; he just stared quietly, thinking of ways the predicament could have been avoided and the only conclusion he came to was _"If only I was there…"_

Sherry gave a sniffle and brought a tissue up to her face, "I heard him crying out as they relocated his arm. It tore me to pieces…I got a hold of you because he was calling for you in his delirium. Not for his mother or his father, he called to _you_."

Tsuzuki still sat in silence and listened to the woman talk through small sobs, a wave of guilt washing over him. "Its terrible, he really doesn't need to be in the institute, but his parents are so damn irresponsible and greedy to care…I mean, who would just _send_ their child away?" She wrapped an arm around her waist and wiped her nose with her tissue. "Anyways, Konoe still has to get a hold of his parents to discuss insurance issues with them…You know what…I'm gonna' go get some coffee, you want anything?"

"Ah, no thanks…" He declined, not really thinking of himself at that moment.

"Ok, well I'll be back."

"'Kay." He said; his eyes never moving from the boy.

She left the room and he grabbed a chair from the corner and sat next to Hisoka's bedside; propping his upper body on the side of the bed. He buried his face in his arms, half tempted to let out a sob. _"Damn it, how could I let this happen…?"_ He thought. Suddenly a slight stirring from the person next to him caused him to look up. A pail hand touched the top of his head softly, comforting him.

"Tsuzuki…" He said looking down at the older man, "I'm sorry I made you cry…I didn't want you to be upset…I feel so terrible about it."

"No, no, no!" Tsuzuki insisted, hoping the boy wouldn't start to cry the last thing he wanted to see were tears streaming down his bruised face. "I'm fine, _I'm fine_. Don't worry about it. I just want you to focus on getting better."

"I…" He said as tears began to fall "…just didn't know I'd upset you like that…I don't want you to be upset…your too important to me…"

A heavy heat swelled in the violet eyed man's chest as he listened to the boy crying and trembling over, not his injuries, but _him. Hisoka's thoughts on him were so vague before but now they just seemed to spill out of him right along with his tears._

Tsuzuki moved to sit on Hisoka's bed side, he looked down at that pale face now covered in injuries and hesitated a bit before feeding the urge to embrace him like a child. He yipped as his friend accidentally brushed up against his bruised body, which the man held looser in response.

"I'm not upset." He assured the boy again.

"You were yesterday_ I felt it_…"

"Don't worry about it, it didn't mean anything…" He said softer as he rocked back and forth trying to ease his companion's pain. The door opened and Tsuzuki glanced over to see Konoe standing behind him. The old man coughed and looked to the side, not quite sure of what to think of the scene in front of him.

"Oh, Tsuzuki, I thought you were sick today?" He said roughly.

"Yeah, but it's nothing. Sherry told me the situation and so I came to see if I could help. What are you doing here?"

"I just got off the phone with Hisoka's parents and they asked for him to come back home."

Tsuzuki was silent for a moment it felt like a sledgehammer had been taken to his heart. He looked down to the blonde whose face was now plastered with a horrified expression.

"I don't want to go back _there_!" Hisoka said with a mixture of sadness and disgust.

"I'm sorry, Hisoka but it's out of my hands. You're going to have to bring it up with your parents; they know what's best for you." Konoe said as slowly and carefully as he could.

"Know what's best for me!? They don't know what's best for me! They hardly _know_ me let alone _what's best for me!"_

"Hisoka you're going to have to calm down I-"

Despite his injuries Hisoka pushed himself out of the bed and onto his feet he bent forward a little as the pain from his stomach screamed at him to sit back down. He bent towards the phone near his bed but the old man's hand blocked him, "You need to get back into bed." he said firmly but Hisoka's face just bent in anger.

"Fine." He exclaimed sharply as he ripped out the I.V. from his hand, "I'm going to go find another phone then." He stated as he headed out the door followed by the old man shouting and walking after him.

Tsuzuki still sat on the bed now staring at nothing and simply listened to the sickly combination of the silence of the room and the pulsing in his head which was now aching. He suddenly felt weak and laid down on the empty bed in hopes to clear his mind.

_"God, why do you insist on another person leaving me? Why must you punish me with loneliness? Please I've had enough…" _

"Tsuzuki…" A voice called to him from a muddled dream world of his own thoughts.

Tsuzuki opened his eyes to notice that he wasn't in the same room as before. "Where am I?" He said as he tried to get up however, his head greatly protested the movement. His hands went to massage his temples but they were to stiff to apply any real pressure.

"You passed out in your friend's room so we moved you into one of your own," The voice answered.

Tsuzuki's purple eyes focused on blue cerulean ones guarded by bronze framed glasses, "D-Doctor?" He said in shock.

"I've told you before, don't be so formal call me Tatsumi. I like to have less formal relationships with my patents." The man insisted.

"Oh, sorry."

"So, how do you feel?" The doctor said as he leaned forward in his chair bringing his finger tips together.

Tsuzuki groaned and fell back to a laying position, "My head is killing me and my hands feel numb…"

The doctor gave a sympathetic smile, "Well, that's to be expected given you're circumstance, but try to think positive."

Tsuzuki sighed and looked out the window trying to avoid the concerned gaze being directed at him. Tatsumi had been his doctor for a year now and he liked him quite a bit however, once and while he came across a little too motherly at times and made the violet eyed man uncomfortable at times.

"Tsuzuki," The man said with a firm yet concerned tone, "how long are you going to live so carelessly?"

"I don't know. How ever long I'm allowed to act careless I guess."

"Well at some point your going to run yourself down and make life worse for yourself, I just want you to be aware of that…"

"I know, I know…" Tsuzuki said in a childish tone he then sat up and hopped off the bed.

"Where are you going?" his eyes following the man as he traveled across the room.

"I'm going to visit my friend." He said simply; a little agitated by Tatsumi.

"That boy whose room you were in?" The doctor asked. 

"Yeah. Why?" He responded as he grabbed the door knob.

"He just left."

"What?" The purple eyed man shouted.

"Yeah, his parents handed me his discharge papers and took him. What's going on?" He asked, his voice making it obvious to how confused he was.

"His parents?!"

"Yes." Tatsumi answered, now completely lost as to why his patient was so frantic.

"Crap!" Tsuzuki flung the door open with more force than he intended to as he ran as fast as he could to the boy's room. Anger raced through his veins as he ran, there was no way he was going to let Hisoka's selfish parents take him away only to be miserable.

_"This doesn't make any sense. If they don't want him around why are they bothering to bring him back?! It's not because they care, there has to be an ulterior motive to this…" _

Before he could make it all the way to the room he ran into sherry who was staring at him from down the hall.

"Tsuzuki what are you doing?" She asked the man who was now gasping for breath in front of her.

"Where's…Hisoka?" He said between ragged breaths.

"His parents took him home, not to long ago."

Tsuzuki gave a sad and tired moan as he leaned against the wall to brace his now very dizzy body. "Shit…I wanted to talk to him…"

"I thought as much." She said with a laugh, she pulled an old receipt from earlier that day and wrote something on the back of it, "Good thing I was able to remember it…." She commented herself as she handed him the paper.

"An address?" He said looking questioningly at it.

"Yeah, I don't think he'll be coming back to West Wind but you could probably stop by his house and talk to him there."

"Thank you." Tsuzuki smiled and shoved the paper in his pocket, he pulled the woman into a sudden hug causing her to make a combination of a laugh and an "oh" noise.

"But I want you to make me a deal," She said as she pulled away now making eye contact with him, "before you go to Hisoka's place I want you to go home and get some rest. I don't know what's up with you but I think it's safe to say you shouldn't be on your feet."

Tsuzuki gave another smile and said "It's a deal."

T.B.C. R&R


	8. Chapter 8

**1.19.04:** Ok, this seems like a long chapter and I reread it as much as I could before going crazy however I might have looked over some booboos and the thoughts might get a little confusing at times. So I apologize ahead of time. Anyways. Enjoy and R&R 

**Chapter 8:**

Tsuzuki spent most of the afternoon sleeping and the sun was setting now. He didn't intend to sleep for so long but surprisingly the nap made a world of difference. Given how he was feeling earlier; if he had gone without resting he was sure after one knock on the door he would pass out.

He stopped in front of the house with a paper in one hand and some of Hisoka's things from the institute in the other. He nearly dropped all of it as he stopped in front of the house. It was massive, not castle massive but large enough to guess that the mortgage was enough to buy six Eiffel towers, well maybe that's an exaggeration; it was more like three Eiffel towers.

He walked up the stone steps and knocked on the door with one of the gold doorknockers settled in a lion's mouth. He could hear some yelling from behind the door and suddenly it opened. A woman with shoulder length blond hair, roughly in her forties, appeared at the door. Her face was the crankiest he had ever seen but there was something familiar looking about her and for a moment he couldn't quiet put his finger on it until she narrowed her electric green eyes at him and looked him over.

"Oh," The woman said in an innocent tone "Who are you?" Tsuzuki noticed that now, instead of looking like a cranky old lady, she was leaning against the door with her arms folded attempting to squish her boobs together to make cleavage. She was failing miserably.

"I'm Tsuzuki Asato; I'm here to visit Hisoka." He bowed and said as politely as he could despite the woman's now callous face.

"Hisoka? Why do you want to see him?" She said with out shame of the obvious disgust in her voice.

"I'm his friend, and I came to give him some stuff he left at the institute." He looked up to see that the woman's tone matched her face.

"Friend?" She blared as if the idea of it was simply absurd "Just how old are you?"

"Uh…Twenty six." He sounded a little bit unsure.

"_Twenty six_! Why is a twenty six year old man hanging out with a high school boy?! You better not be trying to get him to lend you money because I won't put up with it!" She screamed at him causing him to jump a bit.

_"What did I do to be yelled at?!"_ He wondered as he backed up defensively.

"Oh no! I'm really not trying-"

"Mom, who are you yelling at?" A voice emerged from behind the door. Familiar green eyes widened in shock of the man on the doorstep. "Tsuzuki." He gasped a bit. He then turned to his mother, "Jesus, don't you have any manners?!"

"Manners? Your not one to talk young man, you have no right to talk to me that way."

"Whatever," He sighed and turned back to Tsuzuki "Please, come in…"

"Uh no, no, that's ok. I just wanted to drop your things off here… I'll just be going now…" He said with a nervous chuckle.

"No, don't let my mother intimidate you. Its cold, at least come in and warm up before you head back." He insisted, his eyes a mixture of stress and concern.

_"God... He looks miserable."_ Tsuzuki thought as he looked into those heartbreaking emerald eyes. He just smiled as he gave into the eyes and stepped inside.

It was warm inside the mansion but it didn't make up for the cold-heartedness of its keepers. It was garnished with expensive decorations and antiques which made it seem more like a museum than a house. Hisoka's mother stood behind them as Tsuzuki took off his coat and hung it on a rack, her arms were folded and she was tapping her foot in an irritated fashion and her eyes were plastered on the violet eyed man making him feel incredibly uncomfortable. It felt like the woman was stabbing a hole through his back with her eyes, Hisoka sensed it and spoke up before his friend ran away in terror.

"Let's go to my room…it's a little more relaxed up there." He made a gesture and led his companion up the stairs while giving a brief glare of annoyance to his mother. The rest of the house was much like the foyer with its elaborate adornments placed strategically about the rooms.

"Wow this place is huge! I can't even imagine what it's like to live here." He commented as he looked around.

"Believe me you don't want to…" Hisoka said in an aggravated tone as he opened the door to his room. Tsuzuki sat the bag of Hisoka's things down by the door and walked over to the boy's bed and sat down still looking around like a lost child, it was surprisingly empty compared to the rest of the house. There was a bed, a book shelf with some books, and a few boxes indicating that his room was previously used storage before he came home.

Silence passed between the two, Hisoka remained standing and stared at the amethyst eyed man on his bed with a perplexed look on his face.

_"You came to see me…why?"_ The boy thought as he continued to gaze.

Tsuzuki coughed in hopes to break the silence and then thought of something to spark conversation. "So…how's life?" Suddenly he mentally slapped him self at how stupid a question it was.

_"As if I couldn't tell he was depressed…"_

"It sucks." The boy stated as he sat down on the floor bringing his legs up to his chest, he made a small groan as he probably pressed on a few wounds.

"Are you going to come back to West Wind?" He asked

He took a moment before answering "No."

Tsuzuki winced as if being shot "How come?"

Hisoka sighed and looked down at the floor where the light from a street lamp made a shadow, "My father's health is declining. Therefore it's my duty as a son to take over his business."

"Ah, the age old scenario…" Tsuzuki sighed, "Is that what you want?"

"Hell no, but there isn't much I can do about it. I'm only sixteen and my parents run my life." He paused for a moment, "They're even setting me up with girls."

"I'm sorry to hear it…" Tsuzuki murmured as he watched the vulnerable looking boy rock slowly.

"It's like I'm some expensive dog that has to breed to keep its master fat and happy…I might as well do what they say though…"

"What? Why? Don't you want to marry for love?"

"…I'd like to say that but…I just don't know…" He now sat cross legged with his head down and his hands gripping at his hair, "I've been so confused lately!"

"What's confusing you?" Tsuzuki moved to the floor and put a hand on his back in attempts to comfort the blonde.

_"These feelings…" _The boy noted.

"I don't know! It's something new to me. It's like a thousand things are running through my head at once and I can't control it! At some points I don't know whether I want to laugh or cry! It's like some warm thing glowing inside my lungs yet it's prickly and it leaves me with the strangest high…"

Tsuzuki continued to kneel quietly, his hand slowly slipping off the boys back.

"Normally I can block these feelings out by using a barrier," Hisoka proceeded, "but these ones don't go away and I can't tell whose they are or where they're coming from…"

Tsuzuki felt his body temperature rise and his throat constrict.

The blonde's head suddenly whipped up, "Unless…" He whispered in what sounded like horror. He looked over to Tsuzuki, who was about as confused he could get, and started to crawl closer to him and Tsuzuki in response crab walked away not taking his eyes off the boy.

"It makes sense…so much sense…" Hisoka said as he continued to crawl, "These feelings are _mine_!…but why I have them I'm not sure…"

"Hisoka…?" Tsuzuki called trying to break the boy's insistent train of thought.

"It gets worse only around you…so maybe…I…" He continued as he was almost directly onto of Tsuzuki who came in contact with a wall. Their faces were now with in an inch of each other and the violet eyed man's face was burning hot.

Hisoka stood on his knees looking down at his friend, "I need proof…" he said as he tilted the older man's head upward. Tsuzuki looked up at his friend who was illuminated by the streetlamp, only a few features on his face were highlighted yet the light caught on every little hair around his head creating an almost angelic looking aura. Tsuzuki felt his heartbeat speed up rapidly along with his breathing as he tried to comprehend the events that were taking place.

"Hisoka?" He whispered.

No answer, instead with a swan like grace, he closed the gap between them slowly and pressed his lips against Tsuzuki's. Contrary to other kisses Hisoka had, Tsuzuki's lips were soft and rivaled that of sun warmed flower petals. The feelings he found in himself stayed and only when Tsuzuki was added to the equation was the feeling altered. He sensed the love from himself mixed with the purple eyed man's panic and confusion and it left a small ache in his chest. The kiss lasted for what seemed like an eternity until they parted. It was simple, there was no panting or going back for more, it was just brief, simple, and innocent.

Hisoka fell back on his legs and stared at the ground again with a contemplating look on his face. "So they're mine…" He said softly to himself, "So…I'm in love…" He suddenly felt a wave of joy, relief, and over all happiness and for the first time in his life it was his own, 100% his. It was like being sheltered in a world of black and white for years only to finally be released and exposed brilliant color.

He looked over to his partner to see him in a bemused daze, slightly shaking and still pressed against the wall. Tsuzuki abruptly rose and left the room mumbling something that sounded like "I have to go get some air." Hisoka watched the man leave, it took him a few moments to realize that Tsuzuki was obviously upset and he ran down to the foyer to catch him but the older man's coat was no longer occupying the coat rack. He shoved his own coat and shoes on and ran out into street. Not too far down the block he saw Tsuzuki sitting at a bus stop, he was bent over; his elbows on his legs and his fingers laced in front of his face.

_"No…I shouldn't have let him do that…it's not right—but oh God I wanted it—but he's my friend—well I guess _he_ really doesn't think _that_ anymore – but is that such a bad thing?—yes because I'm going to hurt him in the long run—I cant let it continue on--"_

"Why not?" A sad voice responded to his thoughts.

"Hisoka!" He looked up at the boy a little startled.

Hisoka sat down next to him, "Why can't you be with me?"

"I just can't. It's just not going to go well."

Hisoka lifted a hand up to the side of Tsuzuki's face and moved some hair out of his eyes and then brushed his finger tips over the skin of his cheek. "You feel the same as I do…Don't you want to be happy?"

"I don't have to tell you that I'm exhilarated by what you did but I know at some point I'm going to hurt you and I'd be happier if I didn't get to see you cry over me."

"Believe me; I think that that sadness is worth the time I'll spend with you. Life without you is dull," He took a small breath and turned to meet violet eyes "Even if it's for a short while…I'd love to be with you."

Hisoka grabbed onto the other man's hand and held it in his own, "Please…"

Tsuzuki looked over to pleading emerald eyes. He felt his body relax with a slight exhale, looking at those eyes made his stomach do back flips. He smiled and brushed lips with Hisoka who made a slight moan but recovered quickly and wrapped his arms around Tsuzuki's waist bringing him closer to deepen the kiss.

**T.B.C… R&R**


	9. Chapter 9

2.1.04: Ok! I only re-read this once so there is bound to be many mistakes. So be aware (as usual) and R&R

A small figure sat huddled on a stone bench located under a tree the green from its leaves tinted his world a miraculous jade color. The world further called to him in that scented breeze that was spring and it smelled twice as sweet that year and while looking across the garden at Tsuzuki approaching him the fragrance magnified.

"Ah, hey…" He greeted giving the green eyed boy a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey. Did my mom give you a hard time when you asked for me?" He asked as he noted the slight stress emanating from the man's touch.

"As always…" Tsuzuki chuckled, "But it doesn't matter much."

"What are you doing?" The man asked as he took a seat next to the boy who instantly leaned against him.

"Drawing." Hisoka said simply as he continued to drag his pencil over the paper.

"It's a person this time; you don't normally draw people."

"Yeah," he agreed with a bitter laugh, "I don't draw people for a reason though."

"How come?" The purple eyed man asked sounding almost like a child.

"Well isn't it obvious? I can't draw people just off the top of my head."

"It looks fine to me…"

"You don't get it." Hisoka sighed and pointed at his picture "You see how the eye isn't quite proportionate to the rest of the face?" Hisoka indicated on the paper.

"Hmm… Oh yeah," He said in slight realization, "But I really wouldn't have noticed if you didn't tell me."

"Yeah, but there is so much to look at if you were a real art critic, you'd be looking for every small detail and there is too much to the human body that makes it look the way it does, so if I mess up it wont look like a real person."

Tsuzuki just chuckled a bit, he was glad to see that Hisoka was passionate about something; when ever they talked about art he seemed to light up and talk for hours and even though Tsuzuki knew nothing about it he was always eager to learn so that he could carry on a conversation that the boy loved.

"Well then why don't you find a model?"

Hisoka sat for a moment and seemed to be really concentrating on the suggestion. He then made a small noise as if he were going to say something but then stopped himself.

"What?"

"Do…Do you think you could model for me?" He asked still trying to figure if it was a good idea or not.

"Uh…Me? Model?" Tsuzuki stammered in shock.

"You don't have to if you don't want too it was just a thought." He quickly backed himself up.

"Well, no, that's not it. I just never thought of myself as model material, that's all."

"So you will?"

"Sure." Tsuzuki said enthusiastically as he hugged Hisoka, who was now intent on touching up his picture, around the shoulders.

"So…_I'm model material…I guess that makes me pretty sexy then." He laughed._

"You know…artists in the renaissance time used to draw people with deformities…"

Tsuzuki's face instantly went from happy to sad "Oh...so you want to draw me because I look weird?"

"Hey…something needs to humble you," Hisoka said with a laugh. Tsuzuki's jaw nearly dropped, Hisoka had made a joke, and he laughed to boot.

"You know…You should smile more…It looks cute on you."

Hisoka just stood completely dumbfounded; blush made its way onto his cheeks and forced him to look away. He cleared his throat and stood up folding his sketch book shut.

"Don't you need to get back to work?" He changed the subject.

"Yeah I guess I do…" Tsuzuki said disappointedly, "Oh! When do you want to draw me? I suppose I could drop by tomorrow during my break unless-"

"How about tonight?" The boy suggested.

"What, time?"

"How's eleven thirty sound?"

"Why so late?"

"My parents go to bed around eleven and if they're asleep then I won't have any distractions. Normally they don't like me drawing; they say it's a waste of time, so when they see me draw they get on my case."

"They get on your _case? _God, your parents piss me off...how come you just don't go to the library or somewhere and draw there?"

"They won't let me leave the house except for family events and the dates the set me up with."

Tsuzuki gave a frustrated grunt "Your parents are not fit to be parents! I mean seriously, that's got to be child abuse or _something._"

"No, it makes sense, they don't want me going crazy again and then running off when I'm their only hope for the future of the family."

The older man gave a sigh of defeat and returned to their former conversation, "Well I suppose I can meet you at eleven thirty . But your parents are going to flip a shit if they see me here so late."

"Don't worry. My parents don't get up once they're asleep. So just come by and I'll draw you for a little while and then you can leave."

"Uh…ok, I guess." Tsuzuki said uncertainly, "Well I have to go back now. I'll see you then." He grazed his fingers softly over Hisoka's neck as he gave him another chaste kiss, this time on the lips. He pulled back to hear the boy whisper "Ok, bye…" as he moved to hide his rose colored cheeks.

"Bye-bye..." He smiled and turned to go on his way.

Hisoka lay on his back reading his book when a tap came at his window causing him to jump and toss his book to the ground. He walked to the window to see Tsuzuki with a hand full of pebbles; he obviously thought he would miss the first time.

The boy opened the window and stared down from the second story at the man, "Why do you resort to throwing rocks?"

"I didn't want to wake anyone up and get in trouble!" Tsuzuki shouted a whisper.

"Well you know you're gonna' make more noise if you accidentally hit someone else's window like say…oh…my parents'!"

Tsuzuki looked down and secretly thanked god that he didn't hit the wrong window considering he really didn't think about where he was throwing.

"We'll are you going to go around so I can let you in?"

"Aw," He said with a mock face of sadness "Don't you want me to climb up and get to you that way? It's so much more romantic."

"Oh shut up and go around," Hisoka said as he left his spot at the window he heard Tsuzuki call back "I know a little Shakespeare!" as he left his room.

Despite his smooth composure Hisoka wanted to run through his house, open the door and fling himself at his lover but he kept his desire at bay as he opened the door revealing his companion. Tsuzuki was about to say hello but was cut off by the boy's index finger pressing against his lips he then took his hand and led him up to his room silently, being sure not to make a single sound.

He closed the door behind them; Tsuzuki would have flopped down on the boy's bed if he hadn't been preoccupied with the stunning new painting on his desk. In his picture a completely violet woman with long detailed feathers mixed into her hair climbed from a cage made of stone. Hisoka walked by him and looked down at the painting. "Oh, this…" He said a little embarrassed, "I did this not too long ago…I used your watercolors... For the longest time I didn't know what to use them on, I felt like I needed to use them for something really great. I actually feel very satisfied with how it's been going…"

"It's not finished?" Tsuzuki asked curiously looking at him.

"No, not yet; but it will be soon…"

"Well I'd really like to see it when it's done." He said with a warm smile

"Ok, you'll be the first one to see it then."

"I hope that's a promise." The purple eyed man said as he sat down on the bed.

"I promise." Hisoka said as he picked up his sketch pad and sat down across from him.

"So what do you want me to do?" He asked referring to their planned modeling session.

Hisoka sat for moment thinking; there were so many features about the man that intrigued him, things that set his heart racing. He wanted to capture all of it and he had an idea how to do it when they were sitting in the garden, however he had no idea how to come to ask Tsuzuki of such a thing. Well, he was just going to have to jump in head first.

"Take off your clothes." He said as firmly as he could.

Tsuzuki remained still on the bed his eyes wide and his face very, very, red. "M-my clothes?"

"Yes, I want to draw you." He said as if it was nothing at all.

"B-But…_with out my clothes?"_

"If it's ok with you, I'd like to draw _all of you_."

"I'm ok with you drawing me but…" His face got a little more red, "But you'll see _me…"_

Hisoka couldn't help but laugh at how cute it was to see Tsuzuki in such a flustered state, "It's ok, you can cover yourself up with a sheet. I just want the essentials."

Tsuzuki sighed and began to undress muttering something along the lines off "I'm crazy."

Hisoka sat and watched the purple eyed man's shirt slide from his shoulders the small movement alone sent the boy in a hormonal daze, "_Next are the pants…_" The green-eyed boy thought as he tentatively watched, but before his belt was undone Tsuzuki stopped and gave a small glance over his shoulder.

"You're _watching!" He whined._

"Sorry! Sorry!" Hisoka turned around quickly trying to make himself feel less like a pervert.

Some rustles of clothing were heard and with every noise there was an illustration in his head of soft fabric sliding off the man's warm flawless skin.

"Um…Can I use the sheets on your bed?" A small voice came from behind him.

"Sure." The boy breathed out.

Tsuzuki gingerly crawled into the bed, he wanted to make sure he didn't trip or fall on his way over considering it's humanly impossible to make it look good when you're naked. He slid under the sheets and loosely draped it a little below his hips; he figured if he was going to model he might as well make it look artsy.

"Ok…you can look," He said unable to loose the nervousness that was evident in his voice. Seeing Hisoka turn around and place his eyes directly on him made him feel like the sun was standing only four feet away.

"Is this ok?" He asked Hisoka just nodded mindlessly his eyes told him that the boy wasn't really thinking about the question. He grabbed a chair and his sketch pad and sat across from the man lying, quite attractively, in his bed. 

"Ah, ok." Hisoka said clearing his throat, "Just…stay in that position."

His eyes started with Tsuzuki's face, his eyes were closed and his hair swept over his them in a disordered fashion. He then sketched down lower to his chest which was all too well proportioned, as was the rest of his body. Everything was perfect, the boy noticed; his body was not exactly muscular but not exactly bone skinny, he was just right. Not a hair on Tsuzuki's body was out of place; he was confused as to why the man would be so ashamed of such beauty when he could have easily been a nudist and have no one object.

Tsuzuki was cold he had to admit, but there was something about being drawn by Hisoka that gave him a warm feeling in his chest, the fact that those lovely green orbs were focused on him and him alone was enticing enough to have him volunteer to be drawn in sub-zero temperatures. It was selfish but as long as the boy was staring at him he could forget life and lay there for hours.

Suddenly a creak was heard and Hisoka bolted from his seat, he quickly turned the light on the night stand off and jumped into bed on top of Tsuzuki; covering them both up with the comforter.

"Hide!" Hisoka demanded as he pushed the man's head down so he couldn't be seen. The boy mussed his hair up on the pillow and flopped his limbs around his head haphazardly as the door slowly creaked open.

"Hisoka?" Hisoka's mother called quietly.

Hisoka faked some sleepy moans from his bed in response.

"I heard noises earlier I thought it was coming from here. I must be hearing things." She said as she closed the door.

"…She's gone…" The boy whispered under the covers, Tsuzuki then popped his head out from the comforter.

"I thought you said that she would be asleep…" The man said a little irritated by the sudden shock.

"She must have stayed up." The boy said with a shrug.

"What if she comes back?"

"I don't think she will. She's convinced I'm asleep." He reassured him patting his arm. It was then that Tsuzuki realized he was completely bare and in bed with Hisoka. His face turned bright red and he moved away from the boy, his back to the window.

"What are you nervous for?" The blonde inquired.

"Gee, I don't know…It could be because I'm in bed with you…or it could be because I'm in a bed with you and I'm bare_ ass naked." He said with a nervous laugh._

Hisoka closed the space between them, "But from what I see…you have nothing to be ashamed of…" He said.

Tsuzuki could feel warm breath against his face all he could do was swallow hard and keep his eyes from fluttering shut.

"You're beautiful." The blonde said as he kissed him; his lips ran softly down the older man's cheeks kissing everywhere but his mouth. Tsuzuki had had enough of the teasing and made up for where Hisoka was avoiding, his tongue roaming around in that warm cave occasionally meeting its occupant. A soft hand lightly slid up and down his bare side causing him to shiver and pull away for air. His partner rolled him over onto his back and sat on top of him he licked and sucked on a spot under his jaw causing a moan to escape his lips.

"Ah, Hisoka?" He asked causing the boy to sit up.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked, his voice a little disappointed, he hoped that he hadn't upset him.

Tsuzuki noticed the concern in the boy and gave him a reassuring smile, "If you're going to do that could you do it a little lower so I can hide the mark for work."

"Sure." He said as a wave of relief washed over him.

"Oh, and I have to give you one too." The purple eyed man added as he playfully switched spots with the boy. He nipped at the smooth skin of Hisoka's neck leaving a red oval on his neck, he pulled away looking at the boy, he was concentrating too hard on the kiss mark to notice that the boy had closed his eyes and thrown his head back. His eye lids lifted half way to stare lustfully at his partner, who was now staring down at Hisoka's hands lifting up his shirt revealing a skinny and pale chest.

"I know my body isn't as lovely as yours…but…" The blonde said silently.

"That's not true at all…" Tsuzuki said as he tenderly slid a hand through the boy's messy hair kissing his pink lips lightly. "I love you." He murmured as he nuzzled his forehead into the crook of the boy's neck, all emotion seeping from his skin into his lover's.

"I know…I love you too…" Hisoka said as a tear glided silently down his cheek. The emotion was so strong it swam around in his veins like warm water; he wrapped his arms around the man hoping to drench himself in the feeling.

"Um…" Hisoka started, still unsure if what he was asking was the right thing, he found that he was unsure about everything lately and he was positive it was because of his purple eyed obsession.

"What?"

"Can you-we…go farther?

Tsuzuki blushed at the notion and closed his eyes, sure they were pretty much on their way to sex but he never really thought about it.

"I'm not sure...I'm not really skilled at _that_ form of…love. So all I know is that one of us has to get hurt." He said his eyes still closed, "_I couldn't bear to hurt Hisoka…I don't exactly relish the thought of getting hurt myself but maybe this is the punishment for falling for a male…_"

"There are other ways…" Hisoka said, "Why don't we just do what comes naturally…?" He asked slowly as if preparing to be smacked.

Tsuzuki kissed Hisoka once more and whispered ever so gently in his ear, "You lead."

T.B.C…

Sorry folks, due to the restrictions of FF.net I'm not allowed to write lemons so HAH. (tee-hee I get out of writing a raunchy sexy scene. It would have been interesting though.) I know this chapter seemed kinda pointless but I plan to have MUCH more.


	10. Chapter 10

2.28.04

Wow, ok, this took a really long time to get up, and there's no excuse as to why its such a crappy chapter. Anyways I'm sorry for the delay I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. R&R

Chapter 10

Hisoka lay on his bed enjoying in the warm breeze wafting through his window, occasionally blowing the translucent summer curtains up causing them to brush gently across his face. Ever since his experience with Tsuzuki the night before his world was all hearts and sparkles, every small thing reminded him of his significant other, the touch of curtains was now teasing him with a touch that reminded him of Tsuzuki.

The sound of the doorbell rang and Hisoka would have continued to lie on his bed daydreaming if his mother hadn't called to him from the downstairs indicating that a visitor, no doubt Tsuzuki, was there to see him. Sure enough as he got to the door the purpled eyed man was staring at him from behind his mother who just looked cranky. Hisoka almost tackled the man to the ground if his mother hadn't suddenly pressed her finger against his neck.

"What's this?!" She asked as she pressed against the red mark on his neck making it go white before she took her finger away.

"Ah-uh…" Hisoka just looked at his friend trying to think of a logical explanation that his mother wouldn't beat him for. Tsuzuki just stared back at him, his eyes frantic, hoping his lover wouldn't spill the beans.

"Morika. You know the girl I saw a few days ago…" He felt bad lying about Tsuzuki but he knew that if his parents ever found out he had fallen for a man, he wouldn't hear the end of it.

"Morika," Hisoka's mother said with a pleased tone in her voice, "So you liked her? I really thought that Ai was much more attractive but I guess it's about your taste, not mine. Well Morika is a good choice, her father recently just bought out another company she'll make a good wife when the time comes." The woman then turned around and went off to do what ever it was that she did all day; even Hisoka wasn't sure how she spent her time.

The two retreated up to the boy's room as usual. Tsuzuki stood with his hands behind his back as he stared out the bed room window, pretending like nothing happened the night before. He shot a glance at Hisoka out of the corner of his eye to see him staring back. He turned to him and gave him a small smile and despite the magnitude of the gesture it made the boy push him to the bed.

"I missed you." Hisoka breathed into the other man's ear as he kissed around his neck.

"I missed you too," He said with a startled chuckle, "I'm guessing last night left made quite an impact."

"Yeah…" He said simply as he captured warm rose petals with his mouth. His hands massaged there way down Tsuzuki's body to the edge of his pants where they stopped for a moment. Tsuzuki took advantage of the pause and took his shirt off, Hisoka soon followed suit and continued his exploration of his lover's body.

Tsuzuki brought his hands up behind the blonde's back pressing the boy too him so he could capture a small peak in his mouth. Hisoka let out a low groan and pressed his hand against the man's erection in sweet revenge.

Suddenly a gasp was heard and their attention was directed at Hisoka's mother standing in his door way.

"What the hell is going on?!" She screamed as sped over to the bed and pulled the two apart. She held her son by the arm; who immediately collapsed to the floor as her rage stabbed a hole in his chest.

"Hisoka! Are you all right?" Tsuzuki said as he attempted to help the empath, but his mother pushed him away.

"Don't you _dare _touch him…" She warned with a harshness in her voice that made the purple eyed man wince, "I should have known what was going on here…a perfectly grown man always visiting a sixteen year old kid!"

Tsuzuki stood in silence as he stared at the floor.

"Well what do you have to say for yourself, you god damn pedophile!?" She screamed as she slapped him.

"Stop it! He's not bad!" Hisoka said through heavy sobs, "It's not his fault…I wanted him to visit me."

"Why are you protecting this pervert?!" She yelled down at him.

"Because I love him."

She let go of Hisoka's arm and walked over to the shirts on the ground throwing them to their respective owners.

"You," She addressed the man in calm yet firm tone, "Get your shirt on and leave. I don't want to see your face around here again. And if you come here again I will see to it that you spend the rest of your life in a state penitentiary." Tsuzuki obeyed and gave a sad glance at Hisoka, who was silently sobbing on the ground, and left. 

"Hisoka, you have five minutes to compose yourself. You are to meet me downstairs." The woman then turned and left yet Hisoka could still hear her high heels clacking down the hallway. He grabbed at his shoulders an let out more vocal weeping that would have looked more appropriate on a girl than a boy; he knew that it was quite possibly the end of his association with Tsuzuki, and that he would most likely never see those amethyst eyes again. He grabbed his shirt and slid it over his shivering form and walked to the lower half of the house preparing himself for the argument to come.

His mother stood against the door of his father's study. By the silence in the room Hisoka could tell that she had not told him yet. Without looking at her son; his mother knocked on the door.

"Nagare, I need to speak to you." She said through the heavy wooden door, "It's about our son." The door opened to her request and a man with shaggy blonde hair that was longer in the front than in the back appeared from behind it. His posture and calm demeanor reeked of aristocratic blood, even though his mother and father shared the same blood through second cousins, his father was always "better" than everyone else, always giving the most important people his time, his family not falling in that category.

"Come in." He said politely as if addressing strangers.

"You're aware of your son's _friend_, are you not?"

"Yes, what about him?" He asked as he politely clasped his hands.

The woman pushed Hisoka up to his father, "Tell him what you did."

"No." He said as he shook his head.

"Tell him!" She demanded again.

"I'm not going to! There's no reason I need to be punished!" He shouted.

"Just what is this about?" Nagare asked, his voice slowly showing how annoyed he was.

"I saw our son having sex with that pervert! He has marks on his neck to prove it too!"

"What?!" He blared as he stood up, his hands placed firmly on his desk.

"We weren't having sex!" Hisoka defended.

"Well I'm sure it's happened in the past!" She retorted.

Nagare fixed his enraged attention on the boy, who tried not to shudder under his glare, "Did you have sex with him?! A _man_?!"

Hisoka shook his head in denial when he really wanted to say "Yes, and it was the best I've ever had. Maybe you should try men." But he figured if he admitted it, they would have most likely had Tsuzuki arrested for rape or sodomy.

"Your lying aren't you, boy?!" The man said as he moved towards his son, "The two things in this world I hate most are liars and homosexuals! How could my son become both?!"

"Well if you don't like it, then I'll leave!" Hisoka snapped.

Nagare slammed the boy against the wall by his neck, "You will do no such thing."

The pressure on his neck kept him mute but it didn't keep him from glaring at his father. Nagare's anger only grew as he watched the boy's emeralds mirror his own glower. He let go of Hisoka for a brief minute and slammed his fist into his face sending him skidding against the floor, Hisoka's mother gasped in horror as she watched Nagare pick the boy up again to hit him.

"Nagare! Stop it!" She screamed but her husband didn't hold back in beating his son. She ran up and grabbed his arm but with, what seemed like, a minor hit he sent her slamming into the floor.

"Nagare…" She said through a bloodly lip, "I'm warning you, if you don't put that boy down I will not hesitate to call the police!"

Nagare stood still yet placed the boy down, his eyes fixed on his wife who was now braced against the wall with he fists clenched. She bent down and picked Hisoka up by the wrist and dragged him out of the room.

The sun shining through the kitchen windows would have been very calming if it wasn't for the throbbing in his head. He sat with his head pressed against the cool table top his arms trying to shield his view from the sun light. His mother stood silently at the kitchen sink wetting a cloth, she wringed it out and walked over to Hisoka.

"Look at me." She demanded, the blonde brought his head up so she could wash the blood off his face.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked; his voice weak.

She stood silent for a moment as she blotted at the cuts, "I didn't think he'd react like that…"

Hisoka sat and stared at her in bewilderment, as she cleaned up his face. She went back to the sink for a moment and stared out the window as she rinsed the now bloody fabric. She threw the cloth into the sink and balanced on her hands her head lowered as she let out a sob.

"Mom…?" He asked as he gently placed a hand on her arm. Images now flew through his head like lightning, images of a lovely woman with golden hair being thrown against walls and chairs getting smacked an beaten by angry fists as she clung to the shoulders of a crying child.

_"Since when have you been sleeping with demons?!"_ Nagare bellowed as he slapped Hisoka's mother across the cheek. 

_ "What?!" _She screamed as she pressed her son closer to her. 

_ "That is not my son!"_ He screamed as he pointed at Hisoka. 

_ "Yes he is! I swear to you he is!"_ She pleaded. 

_ "No. No he's not. I don't associate myself with whores and monsters…" _He said as he left the room, slamming hard wooden doors behind him. The woman sank to her kneese so she was eye level with her crying son, strands of gold fell in front of her dead green eyes and she whispered. _"You are a monster…"_

Hiska pulled his hand away, his eyes wide with horror and sadness; small sobs escaped his throat as he was now looking into his mother's eyes. 

"Don't look at me like that…" She said in a soft angry tone, but Hisoka didn't stop.

"You really are a monster…" She said again with a bitter laugh.

Hisoka grabbed hold of her arm again but now pulled her into an embrace, his arms tight around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. He pressed his face into her hair and took in the sent that he was never able to experience when he was young, the scent of home, the sent of love, flowers, and comfort. He heard a shuddered breath come from his mother before she muttered "Get out of here."

T.B.C….

Comments?


	11. Chapter 11

3.27.04

Chapter 11:

Hisoka lay on his side, his hand slowly going numb from the weight on his forearm. The sound of light chatter came from the hallway; its light peaking through the crack in door. It had been a month since Hisoka last saw Tsuzuki; as the time passed he slowly felt himself die. He stayed in his room for most of the month and only left for bathroom visits and the occasional food, he wouldn't have eaten at all if his parents hadn't threatened him.

"Oh for Christ sake, Hisoka! You've been moping for too long, get up and do something productive for once." His mother badgered him from the doorway her hands resting on her silk clad hips. Hisoka continued to lay in silence as she stared at him, "Fine. Become a bed sore for all I care, your father and I are going to the auction. We'll be back at ten." She said as she turned on her heel. She stopped for a moment and added "And don't you even think about leaving…" She then stormed off.

Hisoka continued to blankly stare at his wall. _"Tsuzuki..."_ He turned violently trying to erase the image of his friend engraved in his mind, it was impossible to get the man out of his head. However, every time he thought of his lover the image of him would alter a little each time. "_I'm forgetting about you…I need to see you…" _

He watched the headlights streaming through his window get smaller and soon vanish into darkness. Hisoka sat up and brushed a hand through his sandy bangs, he laughed to himself in relief; it was the first time that his parents left the house together in what seemed like forever. Seeing how rare an occasion it was, Hisoka left his room and made his way down to the kitchen.

He filled a glass up with water from the faucet and leaned against the counter looking up at his reflection in the window. He placed some fingers on his face running over bones that protruded farther out than they had a month ago.

"I'm falling apart Tsuzuki…" He whispered to himself as he hung his head. "If only…"

He looked over to the phone on the wall, a thought tugged at his brain as he calculated the outcome if he were to make a phone call. He smiled as he recalled his mother's words, "_She said not to leave…so I won't leave."_

He placed a hand on the phone and tried to remember the number to the institute; he dialed in the number and waited for a cheery voice to pick up.

"West Wind Mental Institution, how may I help you?"

"Hi, uh, I wanted to know if I could speak with Tsuzuki Asato?"

"Tsuzuki?" The woman sounded surprised.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry sir, but Tsuzuki doesn't work here anymore…"

"What? Why?!" Hisoka half screamed.

"We don't know, he just stopped coming to work a month ago so we had to fire him. I'm sorry. Who is this by the way?"

There was silence for a moment before Hisoka answered "T-This is Kurosaki Hisoka…"

"Hisoka! This is Sherry, hey how are you?"

"Uh, I've been ok…" He wanted to laugh at his obvious lie.

"We've all missed you here, especially Tsuzuki, some think that he quit because you left." She said with a little sadness in her voice.

"Oh…Is there an address or a number I can reach him at?" He asked, his hands tangling up in the phone chord.

"I don't know if I'm aloud to give information out like that…" She said.

"Oh…I see…"

A little silence passed over the line and Sherry sighed, "I'm probably not supposed to do this but I can tell how much he means to you… his address is 1450 Reinhold Circle it's just off of Park Street ."

"Um, is there a phone number I can reach him at, I can't exactly leave…"

"No, sorry, we tried to get a hold of him but his phone has been disconnected."

"Disconnected?"

"Yeah, we're not sure why."

"Oh…ok…Well thanks."

"It was nice talking to you."

"You too." Hisoka hung up the phone, contemplating the information he had just received. He tapped his pen over the address as he bit his lip, there was no way his parents would allow him to leave so asking was out of the question, the only thing he could do was make an escape, but what if Tsuzuki turned him down at the door? Hisoka flinched at the though, the last thing he needed was Tsuzuki's rejection.

Plans and consequences flew through his head at light speed and he came to the conclusion that if Tsuzuki didn't want to see him, and his parents wanted to kill him, then he would either run away or just kill himself, he really hoped that he wouldn't have to resort to either.

Hisoka stood proudly over his sculpture made of pillows and blankets; it really was a work of art, he made legs and arms out of rolled up linens from the closet and made a head with a small throw pillow, he even made an indent on the side of one them to represent his waist, he then threw a blanket over all of it turned to put his jacket on. He quickly walked downstairs and out the door, a taxi waited silently by the curb.

"Where to?" The cab driver asked as pleasantly as he could as he sniffed the sweet sent of money emanating from Hisoka.

" Park Street ." Hisoka asked as he crumbled the piece of paper in his hands.

"Alrighty." The man said as he began to drive.

Hisoka simply watched the yellow lights make streaks across the night sky and reflect in the windows as they drove through tunnels and over bridges. The taxi driver parked by a sidewalk and turned around for a moment, "Is there any particular place you want me to drop you off?" He asked.

"No, its fine here." Hisoka said as he dropped a fifty into the front seat and exited the vehicle.

"Hey wait this is way too much!" The driver shouted from the car.

"Its fine, keep it." Hisoka shouted back as he walked away in search of Reinhold Circle . It was quiet yet the sound of the trees being blown by a humid evening wind echoed in his ears. He expected that with the temperature and the humidity a storm was brewing over his head, he only hoped that he would get to Tsuzuki's before it started to thunder and lighting. He should have knocked on wood.

It was pouring and he was soaked from head to toe, he looked at a small maroon house with a large tree in the front. He didn't even need to look at the house number to know It was Tsuzuki's, he could tell by the massive garden in the front of the house filled with roses and daffodils and any color flower you could think of, however he was sure that the flowers were much lovelier without a storm reigning down on them.

Hisoka rang the doorbell and tried to straighten his appearance out while he waited for an answer. The door opened a crack for a moment and then was flung open to reveal his lover in a much disheveled manner; a blanket was draped over his shoulders and his eyes were black circles contrasting against his pale skin.

"H-Hisoka!" The man said with breathlessness he then laughed and drew the wet boy into a hug.

"Tsuzuki, I'm getting you all wet." Hisoka said as he thought about pulling away from the warm embrace.

Tsuzuki pulled away still smiling, "Oh your right, come inside and get dried off." The man pulled him inside and closed the door, he then ran off in search of a towel. Hisoka stood in front of the door hoping he wasn't dripping on anything too important, he looked around to see a rather plain house with a large window in the living room facing the back yard. A few paintings were hanging on the walls and some flower vases placed randomly on top of things spreading the welcoming sent of lilac about the room.

Tsuzuki rushed back into the room with a white towel, he then placed it on Hisoka's head and slowly dried his hair, Tsuzuki's tired eyes smiled at him as he massaged the boy's scalp with the towel. Hisoka took advantage of the situation and closed the distance between them, kissing the older man lightly on the lips and then settling his head on his chest.

"Tsuzuki…I missed you so much…"

"I missed you too."

"I've been locked up in my house for a month now and everyday I would think of you and how I would eventually get to see you…and I nearly died when I heard you left work. Sherry, luckily, was nice enough to give me your address."

"Your parents don't know you're here?" Tsuzuki asked.

"No…they probably won't know for a while, they aren't even home…"

"Hisoka...you're going to get in trouble…"

"I don't care as long as I can be with you. That's all I want for the rest of my life; just to be with you."

Tsuzuki sighed and gently pushed the boy away he walked off to take a seat in the living room, Hisoka followed after him.

"Tsuzuki what's wrong?" Hisoka asked as he stood in front of the weary man.

"Hisoka. I'm sick." He said as he stared out side watching the tempest lash at the trees.

"With what? When will you be better?"

Tsuzuki sighed and continued to gaze out at the trees, "Let me phrase this differently. I'm dying."

Hisoka sat for a moment listening to Tsuzuki's last sentence echo through his ears; thousands of emotions became tangled up and paralyzed him, allowing him only to listen and hear the upside of the situation, if there was one.

"I've had a tumor in my brain for the last 4 years. I only found out about it a year and a half ago…by the time they found it they said that it was impossible to help. So seeing as I was all alone at the time I opted out of Chemotherapy and decided to just live it out as long as it would let me."

"…You were sick this whole time and never told me you were feeling bad?! Am I not worth your problems or something?" Hisoka began to scream.

Tsuzuki looked down at his trembling hands and whispered, "No you _are_ worth it…its just…whenever you were around me I forgot anything was wrong. You were the perfect drug…you kept me alive…"

"…So you started getting worse after my mom found out?" Hisoka said as he crossed his arms and turn his back to his sickly friend.

"Yeah…but don't put the blame on her…don't put it on anyone. This was bound to happen. That's why I was reluctant to start something with you; I knew it would end like this."

Hisoka stared out the window and watched a bolt of lightning light up the sky, "Why can't they just remove it?" he asked softly as he began to cry.

"At this point it would just end up killing me. It depends on how old it is and where it's at…and well…it would just kill me…"

"Oh Jesus…" Hisoka said as he sunk to the floor, he buried his face in his knees and began to sob. Tsuzuki came up behind him and pulled him into his arms as the leaned up against the base of the couch, Hisoka curled up against him as he continued to sob and repeat _"Oh Jesus why?" _Tsuzuki made small hushing noises as he kissed his lover's sandy blonde head.

"It's going to be ok…" Tsuzuki comforted him.

"No its not…Your going to die…You've been dying for the last year and I've been a spoiled brat thinking that _my_ life was hard…Jesus, Tsuzuki, you should be the one whose scared and crying but here I am worried about what I'm going to do with out you…I'm so fucking selfish… " He said as he whispered hoarsely.

Tsuzuki held Hisoka silently; he had no idea how to respond to the boy so he just held him tighter.

"Is someone taking care of you?" Hisoka asked, breaking the silence.

"No, not really." Tsuzuki replied softly.

The green eyed boy sat up abruptly and looked at Tsuzuki angrily, "What?! So you're here all alone?"

"Yeah…"

"Are you stupid?!" Hisoka blared, "What if something happens to you?! No one would be able to find you!"

Hisoka stared into Tsuzuki's troubled amethyst eyes and placed a hand on his friend's still trembling ones, Tsuzuki's loss and fear writhed in the boy's body and it coaxed more tears from his red eyes. He kissed the purple eyed man once more and placed a hand on the back of his neck.

"I'm moving in. I'm going to live with you."

Tsuzuki closed his eyes and leaned into the boy, "What about your parents?"

"I don't give a damn what they think. And plus it's…it's just temporary, right?" The boy replied before the rain pattered louder on the roof and windows of that small house.

T.B.C.

I was waiting for so long to write this part I don't think it came out as well as I planned so I might go back in and work on it, maybe make it a little more descriptive, anyways…. R&R


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